Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
