remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she looked like the before picture.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
