Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
