After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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