put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
