What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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