my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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