Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
