we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
