I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
