I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
