walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
