Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize