The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
