if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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