She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
