the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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