I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize