I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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