I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
