Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
