well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
