Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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