if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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