Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
