The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I supernannyed him into submission
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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