just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
