He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Randomize
