Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
