dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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