never play flip cup with pint glasses
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I fill condoms, not promises.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
