Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize