Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
