Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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