I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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