Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
