I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
