All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So vagazzling was a success
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
