Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
