I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
