my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
