Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
