If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
