dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
