So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
