How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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