I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
