I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize