some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
