It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
