You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
