It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
