"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
