If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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