I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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