thus making me awesome and them whores
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
