I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
