I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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