im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
