I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
