mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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