i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
