Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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