do herpes really smell.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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