I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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