my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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