It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
