can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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