Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize