The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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