ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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