and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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