How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
