k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
