DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
