Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize