Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
