I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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