Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
