we're chasing vodka with high fives
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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