you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
