You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
