Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im drinking this country out of the recession.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
