are you still at the devil's house?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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